Skoomtown I: The Beginning
In the wake of a world hushed into quiet melancholy by a global pandemic, a resonant energy was stirring within a far-flung group of friends. Some were locked away amongst the rolling hills of Devon, others were forced to look out upon the bright but no longer bustling streets of Brighton, and the rest were scattered across the UK, isolated and alone. Faced with the cancellation of their annual gathering at Boomtown Fair, they refused to succumb to the cold clutches of disappointment. Instead, fuelled by a collective determination, beautiful imaginations, and absolutely immaculate vibes, they embarked upon an audacious journey to find a place that they could truly call their own. Thus, Skoomtown was born from the insatiable need to party that is within every Skoom Citizen. The group searched far and wide, scouring the land in increasing desperation before eventually finding a beautiful sanctuary, hidden away on the coast of sunny Cornwall, where they could safely and peacefully express themselves without persecution from the paranoia and hypocrisy of the outside world.
Martha & Cai, two of the most integral players in the organisation and formation of the event, fittingly arrived wearing crowns and were accepted instantly as the King & Queen of Skoomtown. Festivities started with the first in a series of games where the Skoomers picked teams for the weekend and competed in whimsical tasks for a mystery prize. Every evening there was a collective meal to unite the town, followed by the inevitable descent into wild music and dancing that healed the very souls of the townspeople. The central firepit warmed those who chose to sit bathed in its glow and exchange stories with one another late into the night.
As events unfolded, the Skoomers partied to iconic sets from Das Übermensch, Gurndolf the Grey, Sense of Impending Skoom, Cyka B2B Blyat, Tom (ft. Tom) and many more. A rejuvenating yoga workshop and an exhilarating treasure hunt kept everyone in peak physical and mental condition, while the inaugural drinks competition showcased an exquisite array of handmade Skooma, the party's namesake beverage.
On the final night, with the Starlink satellite launch streaming overhead in what could only be a prophetic moment sent from a God not yet realised, a fateful game of musical statues was invoked. Involving absolutely everyone, this challenge would decide which team would take the gold as the definitive winners of the games. The grand prize was finally revealed; the victorious team was to select the new monarchs of Skoomtown, and each year henceforth the crowns would be passed on as chosen by the citizens, establishing Skoomtown as the first ever democratic monarchy. Absolute icons Dani & Tom Allison were chosen for the honour alongside their court of royals; Princess Lucy, Prince Ruby, Dame Mia the knight, and Raf; Pope of the vibes. Crowned and adorned with their official titles in a closing ceremony for everyone to witness, the community of Skoomtown was now steadfastly melded together in an intricate web of compassion and community, completed by Martha's proposal to Cai by the dancing flames of the firepit surrounded by their newfound family.
When the last embers in the firepit had cooled and the detritus of the night had finally taken to their beds, the party had unequivocally come to its beautiful conclusion. In the harsh glare of morning, the community prepared to reintegrate into the recovering society beyond their temporary sanctuary. Bards Fionn and Fin serenaded the hungover partygoers with soothing melodies on violin and guitar, while friends dismantled the remnants of their haven and engaged in a comical battle with a tribe of wasps that had grown overly invested in the bins. Every mind was already fixated on the future; Skoomtown II awaited on the horizon. No matter the state of the world, these Skoom Citizens would return to party once more.
Skoomtown II: The Apocalypse
More than a year after the first fateful lockdown, the world continued to edge ever closer to the brink of collapse. Skoomtown resurfaced, its citizens gathering for a second time seeking refuge from the deafening chaos, never-ending cycle of lockdowns, and impending doom of the pandemic apocalypse. More tensions still brewed beneath the surface, as sinister plots and political machinations threatened to unravel the fabric of their sanctuary as well – King Tom’s jovial demeanour barely masking a shadowy agenda.
The Skoomers, ever optimistic, organised themselves into four distinct political factions for the yearly games, each offering a different vision for the future:
- The Kerosine Enjoyers: Led by charismatic & energetic Freya, an outspoken advocate for bold and daring pursuits. Their platform centred around promises of space exploration, adventure, and celebration of the unconventional post-apocalyptic beverage; kerosine.
- The People's Peaceful Democratic Republic of Skoomtown (PPDRS): Promoting principles of equality and social justice, the PPDRS sought to create a truly utopian society of Skoomtown. Promises of communal living, shared resources, and a fair distribution of wealth resonated deeply with the citizens of Skoomtown disillusioned with the status quo of the outside world.
- The Cult of Craig: Originally “The Breakfast Elves”, the mystical and enigmatic Cult of Craig did not reveal themselves as a religious sect until the public debate, where they offered salvation through devotion to their tiny green leader, Craig. This surprising twist of events captivated the imaginations of many Skoomers, drawing them in with the allure of transcendence on a spiritual plane and a nifty secret hand signal.
- The Big Dick Club: Bold and irreverent, The Big Dick Club embraced an ethos of unapologetic hedonism and unabashed eccentricity. Their representative, Luke, donned an ostentatiously oversized top hat, promised free sex toys for all, and pledged to make next year 15% more gay, bringing joy & playfulness to the political landscape of Skoomtown.
Amid the friendly competition and growing concern over King Tom’s erratic behaviour, moments of levity and camaraderie persisted. Cai's electrifying set as XxGAMEBOIxX and the exhilarating sleeping bag race down a treacherous hill served as reminders of the resilience and incredible spirit that defined Skoomtown. The annual drinks competition, flashmob dance routine, and friendly fire spinning showcased the Skoomers' tremendous creativity and brought a sense of relief and community to everyone around.
The mayoral candidate debate was interrupted by a shocking recording, acquired in secret by the PPDRS, revealing King Tom’s nefarious plan to prevent the crowns from being passed on and retain his power. Although forsaken as a leader for this treachery, King Tom quickly won back the hearts of his people performing on the decks as part of the Disco Bass Mafia & FUCK b2b OFF sets.
However, as morning dawned at the end of Skoomtown's penultimate evening, the atmosphere shifted. Lost in the moment, passions igniting amidst the beautiful chaos of hardcore rave tracks, the final set ran later than expected. As the clock struck 4:30 am, a beautiful moment was shattered by an irate neighbour storming in, shouting; "4:30 AM IS NOT THE TIME FOR GABBA GEEZAS!" Sending shockwaves through the community & bringing an unexpected end to the night's festivities.
Mostly undeterred by the disruption, Skoomtown rallied the next day to vote and take part in the final games. In a surprising turn of events, a coalition mayor's office was formed between Freya of the Kerosine Enjoyers, the embodiment of energy and ambition, and Luke, whose passion and generosity had won the hearts of the Skoomers. Together, they stood ready to guide Skoomtown through the challenges ahead as Luke the Big Dick Day Mayor, and Freya the (Nightmare) Night Mayor. As winners of the games, the Big Dick Club stepped forward to declare Raf and Lucy the new King and Queen of Skoomtown, their choice met with cheers and applause from all corners of the town, perhaps except for one ex-king Tom.
With the passing of the crowns, a new chapter began for Skoomtown; one defined by unity, resilience, and the unwavering spirit of its citizens in the face of uncertainty. As the wary Skoomers travelled back into the harsh & desolate world outside of their sanctuary, they turned their eyes to the sky, and imagined a Skoomtown amongst the stars.
